Discover Challenge: Raison d’être

Why do you create? Publish a post about your artistic raison d’être.

I haven’t been very active on the Imagination Igloo for at least a month now. Not because I feel a lack of creative motivation–in fact, it’s quite the opposite. It’s just that I don’t feel like following my old habit of going to the computer and typing; instead I reach for pen/pencil and paper. While I’ve been writing and drawing all my life, new reasons for doing so have arisen. Reasons I have not really had to face until now.

1. I have a bit of a dual personality. I don’t have two polar-opposite personalities, as both sides try their best to act according to the same ideals and beliefs, but I’ve found significant differences. The first Luna is the one you’d meet in person. She’s too literal-minded; impatient with people who don’t understand things as quickly as she does or who have bad memories (they tell me, however, it is I who is smart and has an excellent memory on the verge of being creepy). She gets bored and distracted easily and articulates this in a hurtful way. The first Luna is overexcited, flighty, peevish, clingy, uncomfortably direct and impulsive yet overcome by horrible anxiety. She’s so anxious about what will happen if she does something but then she does it anyway out of impulse. Oh, and she’s desperate for attention.

   I have a finer side, though. Luna number two manifests herself in writing; I noticed she’s more diplomatic and prudent and articulate, more understanding. Her character is stronger and more grounded in her ideals. The second Luna gives me a sense of who I would like to be as a person. I don’t know how the second Luna just comes out in writing, but I want to get to know this side of me better. That can only be achieved by writing. Not just stories and personal essays–I’ve taken to writing poetry to the tune of songs. It’s easier to write new lyrics to songs because the rhythm is already figured out; I don’t need to try to make sure my poem sounds awkward.

2. Writing and drawing keeps the stress off. Ever since I was little, I’ve had a habit of thinking about bad things. Drawing puts my mind out of it.