Another parody of a Frozen song, from the perspective of the fire that got put out by Hans when he almost kissed Anna in the movie.
Pine trees’ll bristle,
Kids’ll shiver and sad songs they’ll whistle,
And I’ll be doing whatever fire does in winter,
Wood logs are a joke,
‘Cause they rub off me, a cracking-up bloke,
Laughing all the way to death in winter.
The kids, when they’re done, all keep by me,
And toss me some branches from an old, dead tree…
And I can’t wait to see
What Elsa will think of me,
Just imagine how much awesome I’ll be in winter!
Warming up Anna’s heart is intense,
And roasted Prince Hans will be delicious and dense!
Autumn’s a good time to burn down a thicket
But put me in winter–and I’ll be the ticket!
When the wind gets rough I’ll rage never before,
And warm up the blues galore…
Oh, the sky is now gray,
And Anna’s life is at bay,
But Hans has killed me and I don’t know what I’ll do in winter!
Olaf: Anna! What are you doing here? What happened to your kiss?
Anna: I was wrong. I really don’t know what true love is.
Olaf: (tosses in a bundle of twigs in the fireplace; the fire now roars)