Forget Mt. Everest; try the sea

I’ve discovered that hundreds–no, millions, of determined climbers set their hearts on Everest. But they’re naïve and amateur, and Death goes to Everest often to reap some souls. I personally would think that it’d make it harder for all the other climbers to reach success up there because they have to trudge through lifeless bodies strewn everywhere. So no, climbing Mt. Everest isn’t on my bucket list. Won’t be. Not that I’m a coward or a too-cautious snob. I’d just be like everyone else, which I’m not.

You may have seen “Fly with my right-sided brain to the MOON and BEYOND!!” somewhere around the Imagination Igloo. Confession: I’ve really never thought about being an astronaut on the moon and beyond the Milky Way galaxy myself. I only like to write about extraterrestrial life in other galaxies, particularly Andromeda. I think only ten have really been on the moon. But what with all this life-on-Mars-and-Europa-and-other-planets craze (I’m actually part of that because that is cool), I think that the moon will be like Mt. Everest soon, and everyone’s gonna say, “YO MOON, HERE I COME! SCREW EVEREST!” So I’m not sure about going to the moon.

But I would like to be under the sea–

“Um, aren’t there too many lovers hanging out at the beach? Not to mention sand-covered kids?”

Hey, no interrupting! I meant hundreds of feet under the sea, not floating happily in the waves of the beach with only a bikini, because that’s floating, not under. I don’t wear bikinis anyway. Only three people have been under the sea, hundreds of feet under the sea, because it is dangerous to have so much pressure on you. I want to do that. Now I’m not a stupid coward here, am I? (Of course, I’d take lessons first.)

The sea gives you permission to fly even though there’s hundreds of feet of pressure weighing down on you. Outer space also gives you permission to fly, but you’re weightless. That’s what I like so much about the sea. And since the sea is the most unexplored world, there must be a million mysteries embedded in there. TIME FOR PLOT TWIST!!

Forget Mt. Everest. Try the sea.


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