If you know me, you know how much I jump at the opportunity of writing contests, writing challenges, etc.
But if you are a reality show producer, please, don’t ask me to craft an interesting plot line for your show, whether it chronicles the beauty pageant lives of young girls or a heated cooking competition to win this prize: a trillion dollars to become the world’s first trillionaire chef, as well as a big restaurant company, a trophy…the list goes on. Because my response will be, “Hey, sistah. I’m So Not Gonna Be A Reality Show Writer…Ever!” (I had to capitalize every first letter of the word.) While honesty isn’t always the best policy (you can be too honest and embarrassing), why would I lie? I tell you, reality shows take you through a life where the things that happen can happen in reality, but not all of the things that happen in the show really did happen. It’s like part realistic fiction. The producers want drama so people will watch their shows, so they get writers to write plot lines and sequencing and tweaking the footage in such a way to sculpt interesting stories. And in a reality show producer lingo dictionary, you can be sure to find the term frankenbiting. This means that the producers edit different clips together to make it sound like there’s one conversation, or to give a boring meaning of something a makeover.
For instance, in one Extreme Makeover: Home Edition episode, the Extreme Makeover crew demolishes the house with the help of their Muppet friends:
Miss Piggy: (hurling herself at the house) Hi-ya!
Ty Pennington: That was a good try, but I don’t think it worked.
Miss Piggy: Just wait and see!
(The house falls over, leaving Ty in shock)
Miss Piggy: I’ll be in my trailer.
Did that really happen? Would it even happen? Most likely not.
And the reality show people even lie about how long it takes to do a DIY job. Maybe a DIYer on a reality show inspired you to give your kitchen a makeover in an hour or two, but remember that there are always screen cuts in reality shows and episodes take a long time to release. In between those screen cuts, there was a professional crew who finished it in two weeks, not two hours.
Also, I think the producers are kind of mean to the people applying to be on a reality show. If the person applying says that he or she has automysophobia, the producers will make sure that the person will get dirty at one point during the show. Plus, people on the show might even change their personalities just to make the show look good!
I don’t think reality shows are even reality shows! My new name for them would be tall tale shows. And while I like tall tales, I do not like fooling viewers and lying to them. Tall tales are for another kind of entertainment, but definitely not reality shows!